On Sex, Religion, and Politics, Part II

Once again, not really. Just a screed on politics.

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"Please vote. If nothing else, it keeps the bastards on their toes." - Ned Slattery

"Don't vote. It just encourages the bastards." - P.J. O'Rourke

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Full disclosure department: Your intrepid scribe has been a Democrat since he was old enough to spell the word "politics". I was raised that way, have worked on campaigns (to stunningly bad results), and have even run for public office myself (7th-place finish in a 6-man race). That all having been said, I'm going to do my level best to keep this balanced. Given the initial topic of discussion, some effort will be required on that score.

Carl Paladino, the Republican candidate for Governor in New York, is an ass.

OK, some background here. In spite of my Dem affiliation throughout my life, I am a fervent believer in the multi-party system we have in these-here parts. Debate is absolutely critical to our survival as a nation, and I will defend to the death your inalienable right to be totally incorrect, should you have the misfortune to disagree with my particular point of view. I live in the great Empire State, which, in addition to being a Democratic bastion my entire life, is home to the most dysfunctional state government in America, and quite possibly in American history.

This dysfunction is laughably bi-partisan; we have seen political snafus on both sides of the aisle that simply suspend belief. Where else could you have a former Democratic governor, run out of Albany on a rail for advanced hooker procurement, pull higher polling numbers than his successor, who may be completely inept, but is, at minimum, currently unindicted? Budgets, under both Republican and Democratic administrations, are months late, pork-barrel politics are rampant, and what passes for dialogue between opposing parties would be hilarious, were it not so sad.

But, I digress. Back to the GOP candidate. Carl Paladino finds himself the Republican standard-bearer largely, I believe, as a result of the Tea Party movement gaining favor nationwide these days. As much as I generally disagree with many Republican positions, and as much as the NY GOP is in seeming disarray at the moment, I cannot fathom their promoting this gomer on their own hook. Misguided in my opinion though they may be, they are not dumber than a box of rocks.

This character has, in the last two weeks, and three weeks before Election Day, challenged possibly the most influential political writer in the state to a fistfight in public, and has declared gay people to be "dysfunctional", saying "that's not how God created us." I happen to be a straight male; nature of the beast, I guess. Lots of folks aren't. Vive le difference. I'd like to hope that, when I shuffle off this mortal coil, my epitaph reads something more substantial than "Here lies a straight guy."

My radar starts twitching, however, when political candidates start interpreting the will of the Almighty for my poor, unenlightened benefit.

That he did this at all is appalling; that he did this is public is beyond my ken. I am not, by the way, making any of this up; you can see it for yourself in any number of media. This guy actually believes that spewing stuff like this is how you win elections? Andrew Cuomo must be laughing his ass off. Not since the immortal Pierre Rinfret ran against Andrew's father has the Empire State GOP come up with a guy quite like this one.

Even as a lifelong Democrat, and despite my opposition to many Republican positions, I am not anti-GOP; I firmly believe Republicans are equally as patriotic as their Democratic counterparts, and fervently want what they feel is best for our nation. That we possibly disagree on how to get there is one of this country's strongest attributes.

Let's face it; gomerism knows no party affiliation. Dennis Blagojevich (D-IL) was as crooked as the Colorado River. Here in NY, Dems of questionable ethical/moral conduct are a time-honored tradition, from Boss Tweed to Charlie Rangel.

That all said, this particular gomer is a disgrace, in one man's opinion.

The point of all of this? Please vote on Election Day. My old friend Ned Slattery is right.

Until next time,

Excelsior!

On October

Leaves change their colors and gently fall to earth; a crispness hits the air. Apples are picked, pressed into cider, and baked into pies. Footballs fill Saturdays and Sundays, and T-shirts and shorts give way to sweaters and jeans. Without question, it's my favorite time of the year; there's still enough warmth to forestall the thoughts of winter, at least for a bit longer.

The madness that is even-year politics has shifted into high gear; voters are deluged with robocalls, brochures, and ringing doorbells. Schoolchildren are fully back into their routine, and what the hell is wrong with that?

And then, there's post-season baseball.

If you've been here before, you know your intrepid scribe is a trifle irrational when it comes to baseball. In Ken Burns' recent Tenth Inning, the eminent commentator George Will sums it up better than I ever could: "My wedding ring, which I designed myself, has the Major League Baseball logo on it. This serves to insure Mrs. Will, that she reamins, in my heart, right up there close to baseball." He continues, "I believe there are two seasons, not four; baseball season, and the void."

The post-season does nothing but ratchet up the intensity of the baseball fan; each pitch takes on a different meaning in October. The long season, one of the game's greatest attributes, is over, and with it, the notion that "we'll get 'em tomorrow" no longer applies. All of the wonder of the game is compressed in time; the team that won one hundred regular-season games can find itself facing elimination with two poor performances in twenty-four hours. In 2001, the Seattle Mariners won a record 116 games during the regular season, only to narrowly defeat Cleveland in a best-of-5. They were then summarily dispatched by the Yankees in the AL Championship Series.



The financial industry has a mandatory disclaimer, "Prior results are not a guarantee of future performance." So it is in October. As I type this, we're just a few minutes from the beginning of the post-season, so we'll wrap this up for now.

Until next time,

Excelsior!